If you wish to achieve good results at work, effective communication is a good place to start. You may be inadvertently undermining yourself in your use of language. There are three dirty little words in the English language which should be used with great care! They are ‘don’t', ‘try’ and ‘but’.

Is that funny crack a way to make people laugh?

Then notice that you may need lots of attention at the expense of others.

Is making the wittiest comment a way to earn points?

Notice that gaining the upper hand means making someone else feels put down.

Analyze Your Successes:  When you receive positive feedback, it’s easy to start congratulating yourself but not think about what you did right.  Here the ego takes over.  But sometimes, it’s possible to stumble into success with no idea of what you did well.  To get the full story, ask some questions like, “What could I do better?” which can keep the discussion going.

Families, peer groups, and work teams often develop sarcastic banter as a way of relating to one another. Sometimes one or two people take the brunt of these jokes. But here’s a news flash, sarcasm destroys relationships and reduces productivity over time. The repeated victims of sarcasm may suffer in silence rather than speak up and be attacked again. As motivation and morale is eroded, the ability of the team to collaborate deteriorates.

So stop it.

They will probably delete the praise and concentrate on the message that they messed up. Although your intention is to help, you have inadvertently had an impact which will prevent them from performing confidently.

Just the act of listening shows respect to the other person.  Sure, their advice may be bogus but if you overreact, then they’ll likely never again give you feedback, which could hurt you later on if their observations improve.

Resource Author Francisco Rodriguez H.
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